A Gigantic Treasury of Great Consulting and other Business Jokes: The Best of the Best Paperback
by Mr. David Malmberg (Author)
A massive collection of great consulting and other business jokes.
David Malmberg has been a consultant for decades - both internally within major corporations and externally as a Partner in several consulting firms. Dave's consulting practice focuses on Information Technology, Supply Chain Management, Purchasing and Inventory Management.
For more information, check out Dave's web-site at malmberg-consulting.com
Dave has been collecting consulting and other great business jokes his entire career. Early on, his business colleagues started sharing jokes with him - verbally and via e-mail. This process has continued for many years.
Dave collected the best of the best for this book.
Among the jokes in this collection are:
THE CONSULTANT IN THE HEN HOUSE
THE ONE-ARMED CONSULTANT
WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO BE A CONSULTANT?
DARK SUCKERS
THE CAT
DICTIONARY OF EVALUATION
ONE CEO'S VIEW
HOW MANY CONSULTANTS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?
TOP TEN THINGS A CONSULTANT SHOULDN'T TELL A CLIENT
CONSULTANT BULL**** BINGO
TOP TEN WAYS TO KNOW YOU'RE DATING/MARRIED TO A CONSULTANT
ACTUAL EXCUSES SHOWN ON CAR INSURANCE CLAIMS
TOP TEN WAYS TO KNOW YOU'VE GOT THE CONSULTING BUG
TOP TEN THINGS YOU'LL NEVER HEAR FROM A CONSULTANT
BARNYARD STORY
SOME GREAT INSULTS
THE SECRETS OF CONSULTING
THE LAST MAYDAY PARADE
THE FUND RAISING CAMPAIGN
HOW MANY STATISTICAL CONSULTANTS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?
THE CONSULTANT'S SON
A TRAVELING SALESMAN'S CAR BREAKS DOWN
LOOKING FOR A GOVERNMENT JOB
WIFE OR MISTRESS?
ACTUAL PRODUCT LABEL INSTRUCTIONS:
IF SCIENTISTS WROTE NURSERY RHYMES
THE COMMENCEMENT SPEECH
BUREAUCRATIC GOBBLEDYGOOK
THE GREATEST INVENTION OF ALL TIME
THE CONSULTANT AND THE GENIE
IMMUTABLE LAWS OF CONSULTING PROJECT MANAGEMENT
A COMMUNICATION CONSULTANT
FOUR SURGEONS
TEN BEST THINGS TO SAY IF YOU GET CAUGHT SLEEPING AT YOUR DESK:
THE CONSULTANT IN MEXICO
COMPUTER PROBLEM QUESTIONNAIRE
THE RACE
CLIMBING THE ALPS
MIS-ADVERTISING
CAR DILEMMA
THE CONSULTANT AND THE SHEPHERD
HOW TO TELL A BUSINESS MAN FROM A BUSINESS WOMAN
FAMOUS LAST WORDS
SCHUBERT'S UNFINISHED SYMPHONY
DR. SEUSS EXPLAINS WHY COMPUTERS CRASH:
STRATEGIES FOR A DEAD HORSE
THREE GUYS IN THE JUNGLE
STAR TREK AFTER A LARGE CONSULTING PROJECT
THE RESTAURANT CONSULTANT
THREE ENVELOPES
BRITISH MILITARY PERFORMANCE REPORTS
THE HI-TECH DICTIONARY
OFFICE PRAYER
STATISTICIANS JOKES
HOW TO WIN ARGUMENTS
THE DICTIONARY: WHAT MATHEMATICS PROFESSORS SAY AND WHAT THEY MEAN BY IT
EXCUSES TO MISS A DAY OF WORK
WHAT DOES YOUR PROFESSION SAY ABOUT YOU?
MURPHY'S LAWS OF COMPUTER PROGRAMMING
CONSULTANT OR PROSTITUTE?
THE ARTHUR ANDERSON PARTNER
SUPERNATURAL LONGEVITY
THE ACCIDENT REPORT
HOW CAN YOU TELL IF YOUR CHILD IS GOING TO BE AN ENGINEER?
THE COLONEL AND THE POPE
GREAT INSULTS AND/OR COME-BACKS
CORPORATE ZODIAC - DILBERT STYLE
HALF FULL OR HALF EMPTY?
NEW LYRICS TO BEATLES SONG - "YESTERDAY"
CORPORATE FUN
COLLEGE APPLICATION ESSAY
DILBERT'S 18 OBSERVATIONS ON LIFE
JOB INTERVIEW TECHNIQUES
NEW CORPORATE TRAVEL GUIDLINES
HOW TO MANUFACTURE A PRODUCT - THE AMERICAN WAY
TOP 25 ENGINEER'S TERMS AND EXPRESSIONS
AUGUSTINE'S LAWS
HOW MANY ECONOMISTS DOES IT TAKE TO SCREW IN A LIGHT BULB?
RESUME BLUNDERS
SANTA CLAUS: A CONSULTANT'S PERSPECTIVE
A MICROSOFT CHRISTMAS
TOP TEN WAYS THINGS WOULD BE DIFFERENT IF MICROSOFT BUILT CARS:
ON THE GOLF COURSE
A YOUNG EXECUTIVE
DO-IT-YOURSELF COUNTRY WESTERN SONG
YOU AND YOUR BOSS
THE CONSULTANT AND THE ACCOUNTANT
WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
CONSULTANT HAIKU
EVERYTHING I NEED TO KNOW, I LEARNED IN CORPORATE AMERICA
THE ORNITHOLOGIST'S GUIDE TO CONSULTANTS
SALESPERSON'S QUIZ
WORST ANALOGY CONTEST
CONSULTING PROJECT - TYPICAL STEPS
DON'T USE CLICHÉS
TACO BELL LAUNCHES NEW 'MORNING AFTER' BURRITO
THINGS NOT TO SAY AT A JOB INTERVIEW
THE ORNITHOLOGIST'S GUIDE TO CLIENTS
WHY YOU SHOULD LEARN TO USE ALGEBRA
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
David Malmberg has been a consultant for decades - both internally within major corporations and externally as a Partner in several consulting firms. Dave's consulting practice focuses on Information Technology, Supply Chain Management, Purchasing and Inventory Management.
For more information, check out Dave's web-site at www.malmberg-consulting.com
Dave has been collecting consulting and other great business jokes his entire career. Early on, his business colleagues started sharing jokes with him - verbally and via e-mail. This process has continued for many years.
Dave collected the best of the best for this book.
While reviewing his joke collection, Dave found some jokes that were neither about business nor consulting that were just too funny not to include. Examples include:
MARTHA STEWART'S CALENDAR
HOW TO WRITE GOOD
DO-IT-YOURSELF COUNTRY AND WESTERN SONGS
And many others equally funny
Editorial Reviews
About the Author
David Malmberg has been a consultant for a number of major firms and consulting companies for decades. Thought out this time he has been collecting great consulting and other business jokes. This collection is the "Best of the Best."
Product Details
Paperback: 476 pages
Publisher: CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform (July 4, 2012)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1478199814
ISBN-13: 978-1478199816
Product Dimensions: 8.8 x 5.9 x 1.6 inches
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